News article about a study that women like big dicks. Did they really need a scientific study for this? NO!
I have not been a good girl this year and should be getting a big lump of coal. I tried my absolute best to be a good girl but somehow it ended up more naughty than good. I promise if you bring me a present in a pretty bow, I will dress in only a bow for you and treat your package so very well.
First, I am not moving the blog to an interior design place, there is a valid point to this post. Furniture quality and its placement is integral to a great sex life. Cheap furniture means possible injuries and a well placed table means a fun place to fuck. As an example, I have a friend, yes a real friend, who started to get friendly with a guy on her sofa table. The sofa table broke part way through their fun.
It should be allowable to sit on a table while in the store. This is the only true way to test the strength of the table. Ideally, I should be able to rock back and forth on the table to verify it can take all the action. The more I think on this, the more I want to go to a furniture store and do this.
Luckily, my hallway table by my front door is strong enough to take the stresses of the pure sexual energy that sometimes happens inside my front door. I have sat on the edge of that table and fucked many times. Thank god for a strong table.
It is funny because I am not very religious but I had an interesting idea today. There is the ” Twelve Days of Christmas” song, I need an eight days of Hanukkah guy thing. I started off with one guy for day one. Now, I need two guys with long, thick, strong candles for day two. Any volunteers?
I am not one for the “holiday” season, meaning the time between Thanksgiving and Christmas. I blame it on my extended time spent working in retail, specifically Victoria’s Secret. However, there are some things I miss not working in retail.
The first thing is all the confused hot guys who walk in the store looking for a present. Usually, there was confusion on their face because they wanted to buy the sluttiest, dirtiest thing they could find for their significant other but they knew it was a present and should buy something that the other person would like. I took the opportunity for flirting with them in this confused state.
I would start harmless by asking if they needed any help. However, I would step up the flirting the longer they talked to me. If it was something that I owned, I would comment on how much I liked that piece of lingerie. I wanted them to picture me wearing it. A little harmless mental picture can’t hurt, right. That is a lie, because once or twice it would end up in the exchange of a phone number and eventually, sweaty, naked bodies.
The second part of working retail revolves around two years where a really hot older guy, late 20’s to early 30’s, was the Santa Clause for photographs. Somewhere in my impressional years, I saw the Jenny McCarthy Playboy photos with some guy playing Santa (you can google “Jenny McCarthy Santa” and they will show up in the image section). She was so hot back then, she is still hot but age and craziness has taken its toll. I always thought the pictures of her sitting on Santa’s lap naked were sexy. When the opportunity presented itself, I had to take my chance.
My dream was to ride him on the same chair that he took pictures with the kids, but that never happened. However, I did get to go into Santa’s little house/changing area and get to be a naughty girl. Its probably better that I am jewish or I would get coal every year. Or, Santa could be so grateful that he would put lots of presents under my tree… its hard to determine how that one would swing.
I hope everyone had a good Thanksgiving.