Posted by: bosteen | January 2, 2010

Lessons Learned Over Holidays

There are lots of euphemisms for sex during this time of year; stuffing the turkey for Thanksgiving, stuffing the stocking for Christmas and dropping the ball on New Years.  There has to be a better one for NYE but it is the only one I can think of at the time.  Needless to say, all these things were done.  It wasn’t only a time for sex, I learned a couple things.

1.  This year in football sucked ass.  There is no need to expand on this.

2.  99.99% of women at work are bitches to other women.  It doesn’t matter how nice you are to them, they will talk  about you and stab you in the back.

3.  Don’t ever tell me that I have to say “Merry Christmas” if you are in my store.  I am freaking jewish, you can take your Christmas and shove it so far where the sun doesn’t shine.  There is one person in the greater Boston area that can attest to my response.

4. Since I am jewish, there is no Christmas to me.  It is a day of anti-christian fun.  In the case of this year, a guy for breakfast, a guy for lunch and a guy for dinner.  It was a good day.

5.  The final lesson doesn’t only apply to this time of year, it is a general rule.  If you decide to fuck at a party, make sure it isn’t a condo with soft walls.  For you that don’t know, soft walls are the walls that don’t go to the ceiling.  In the case of a few days ago, if you happen to be loud (who isn’t loud with a guy that has 10 inches), people will hear you.

Happy Humping!

TNS


Responses

  1. Yeah, sorry about your ‘Skins. I have a bad feeling next year won’t be much better. But at least you have a pro team!

    There are some people who really do get militant about needing to hear “Merry Christmas.” There have even been some boycotts organized against stores that say “Happy Holidays.” Even for a Christmas celebrator like me, I find these Christmas zealots a little wacko and in serious need of a life. So I’d love to see video of #3 on your list.

    Oh, and video of #5 would be nice, too. 😉

  2. The Bengals finally qualified for the playoffs. They probably won’t do much; but it’s a start. At least they try. At least football teams try to win. A lot of baseball teams are out if contention by the all star break and building for a future which never comes.

    I know a lot of women who agree with you about #2 including some who go so far as to only befriend men at work because they got so tired of it.

    And, so far as #5 goes, perhaps they were audio exhibitionists. I’ve known people (women more than men) whose definition of a private place at a party was rather broad.

  3. P.S. The time our your blog is still Eastern Daylight Time (GMT-4) rather than Eastern Standard Time (GMT-5).

  4. It sounds that you have a lot of storys to tell!

  5. Indeed.

  6. What are your thoughts about the Super Bowl? A pick?

  7. Stuff Christmas – I wish people a happy Yule and watch them trying to work out if I’m taking the piss or not.

    Which of course I am.

  8. Hahahaha! I wish I had a wittier reply, but I’m just laughing to much. Bravo!


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